Immediately No
Fashion pet peeves are your Black Friday superpower. I'll go first.
I truly believe that half the battle (maybe more!!!) in personal style (and by extension, good shopping decisions) is realizing what to say no to.
The secret to getting dressed isn’t about perfect taste or unlimited options. It’s about getting brutally clear on what doesn’t work for you, so you stop wasting money and energy on those types of things again and again. Which in turn, leaves room (both physical and mental) for the things that do make your heart sing.
Over the years, I’ve built a mental checklist of “immediate no’s” that save me from many bad purchases. Some are quick tells of not-so-great quality that maybe you can learn from, too. Others are personal preferences (pet peeves?) that I’ve learned about myself the hard way. A few are just solid questions I think everyone should be asking before hitting “checkout.”
Included in my monthly “What I Bought in X” posts are genuinely only the things I seriously considered buying, only because 98% of what I see out there is quickly eliminated by something on this list.
What I Bought in October
This is somewhat unglamorous of me to admit, but I pretty rarely leave the house. Normally, “big outings” include walking the dog or walking to the lobby to get my packages. However (plot twist!), I’m emerging from my cozy cave to be an enthusiastic shop girl at the
So in preparation for the onslaught we’ll be facing this week re: Black Friday, I’m sharing the things that help me say no.
Feel free to borrow them — or much better yet, write your own.
Bad buttons
Starting out simple, but more pervasive than you may think. There are a lot of bad buttons out there — and once you see it, you will never unsee it. I’m sorry about that.
A good, color-matched button can make an inexpensive sweater look expensive. And a mismatched button can make an expensive sweater look very inexpensive. It just stands out (in a bad way), to me.
Another example, from COS. They put the same big black button on all three colorways, and so only the matched black colorway would ‘work’ for me here.
I also very much dislike the Big Gold Button™ for basically the same reasons.
Mismatched soles
Similar to the button situation, I cannot stand when they just slap the Big Black Sole™ on otherwise lovely (non-black) shoes. It’s usually a cost-saving thing, where makers aim to streamline production by using the same sole on all colorways even when it looks…not so great.
Because more different components = lower economies of scale = less $$$.
For what it’s worth, it appears that Sézane has actually done a nice job at this, at least this season. Narry a Big Black Sole™ in sight. Not that they are the only ones doing it, but I just happened to be pleasantly surprised when looking about for examples to show you.
And before you call me classist (???), let me assure you that the Big Black Sole™ exists at every price point. It is why, for example, I will never be able to buy these guys in any other color but black-on-black.1
Shirring for size (not for style)
This one raised the pitchforks over on TikTok, and yet I dare to bring it up again! But shirring across the back (like this):
is an immediate cost engineering tell, as the stretchy shirring allows a more limited size range with less investment in fit testing to acceptably ‘fit’ across a wider variety of busts. Because “easy fit” = fewer returns = more $$$.
I’m sorry friends, but as someone who has been inside the rooms where decisions like this are made, it will always read as cheap to me.
I get that a shirred back can be especially tempting for those with a fuller bust—it was quite literally invented so brands wouldn’t have to cut different bust sizes for you! But we all have options!!!
You can, of course, buy a more precisely fitted top a size or two up and get the rest tailed down.2 I will also a million times over prefer flexible fit mechanisms that feel more intentionally built into the design than a stretchy panel slapped on the back. Knit tops, tie-back tops, fully shirred tops (and more!) are all great.
But the single stretchy panel is an instant no, for me.
In-between skirt lengths
Is it just me, or did calf-length midi skirts become suspiciously ‘popular’ in just the last few years, with true maxis now almost nowhere to be found?
I highly suspect that this is more than a trend thing; it’s also a cost engineering thing.
Midi skirts obviously save a little fabric versus maxis. But the fabric itself is a relatively modest portion of the overall cost of a piece3, so cutting off a few inches actually doesn’t save you that much. The bigger lever here is that midis are also more “easy fit”. Because a too-long maxi drags on the floor and customers complain about hemming, but a too-long midi is…just a slightly longer midi? Few notice or care.4
But beyond my conspiratorial leanings, the truth is that after many, many attempts I have finally accepted that I just don’t like this length on me. Like at all. No matter how ubiquitous they are in stores. I am done fooling myself: minis or true maxis only for me.
Is it just good styling?
The folks at Net-a-Porter are really good at this. They can make almost anything look cool.
But could I figure out how to style it any other way than what is shown? Could I upload it to my Indyx wardrobe and figure out how to style it with my closet?
If no, that’s a pass.
Is it a problem?
Say it with me, folks: don’t buy a problem!!! Life is hard enough.
If you feel like you need to buy something else to make this item work, it’s a problem.
If you aren’t immediately inspired to style the thing in your closet5, it’s a problem.
If you feel at all uneasy or self-conscious in it, it’s a problem.
If it’s got something that already needs “fixing” (like, the loose threads on the skirt I returned back in February), it’s a problem.6
Look up secondhand photos. Does it still look good?
I’m not sure that Kate Sanner will be super glad to hear it, but this is one of my favorite uses of Beni secondhand search. Secondhand photos give you a realistic snapshot of how the piece will look hanging haphazardly in *your* closet after a few washes with all the glossy wrappings peeled away.
Am I still in love? Is it still inspiring me to get dressed?
If no, that’s a pass.
And hey! If yes, with Beni, there are already a few shoppable secondhand listings right in front of me. Win-win.
Relatedly: Does it already look poor quality or unflattering on the model?
If so, THERE IS NO SHOT FOR YOU, girl!!! Pass.
Can I see myself proudly wearing this in two-years?
This is my best trend buster. Because deep down, we all know when something’s a trend. That’s not really the issue. I still want it right now.
But what really helps is taking a beat to feel empathy for my future self. She’s the one who has to deal with the fallout.
Imagine: that space in your closet, crowding out the pieces you actually love. The sheepish determination to “get your cost per wear” from something you’re already well over. The mental labor of figuring out how to re-home it without feeling guilty (and the hard truth is that may not be possible at all).
The spell breaks and I close the tab.
Am I just bored??
It’s a good time to remember that shopping is not the only way to feel creative with clothes. Queue all the other closet creativity prompts…
Build an inspo board for the season
Find new outfits with what you’ve got (may I recommend…Indyx?). Variations on this could include…
Identify your current ‘uniforms’ and create slight variations
Pull something you haven’t worn in six months and re-style it
Got a trending color combo stuck in your head? Create it from your closet!
Organize your closet. Or…DIGITIZE your closet!!! If you are spending aimless time online shopping, then “it seems like that would take forever” is really no excuse.
Seek wardrobe self-insight. Prompts include…
Review your “most worn” items. Why are they working for you?
Inversely: review your “least worn” items. Especially the “I thought I’d wear more…” items. What happened?
Spot your “fantasy self” pieces. What inner desire do they reflect?
Which pieces make outfits easy, and which ones force you into overthinking? Why?
Treat your stuff to a trip to the tailor or cobbler. Get out your stain remover & cashmere comb. Wash your white sneakers
And if you must, close COS and go treasure-hunt on eBay or TRR instead. Harm reduction, okay?
As a parting thought, I’ll leave you with this:
OKAY, so that’s my list. What’s yours?
One among many reasons lol.
I understand this is annoying. I would recommend it to everyone, regardless.
The average person seems to think and act like fabric is ~80%+ of the cost of the garment. It’s typically more like 40-50%. Remember that ALL our clothes are “handmade”! There’s no such thing as a cut and sew robot.
And “easy fit” = fewer returns = more $$$.
The one you already have!!
Unless thrift-flipping gives you extreme joy, in which case, go for it. But a new item that already needs mending? I’m not rewarding a brand for producing that.
Never in my LIFE have I come to a comment thread faster. The most pervasive fashion ick of mine is being able to see the pocket bags through a too sheer fabric on a pair of pants. Nothing kills the vibe of a breezy pair of white linen pants like the unintentional visible pocket!!
Mine has to be the coined phrase “vegan leather” better known as, “this is just plastic”. The marketing preys on folks that are interested in sustainability without delivering the entire truth